MY REALIZATION THAT I HAD A SELF LOVE ISSUE
Do you love yourself? Have you ever thought about this question?
I had no idea that I struggled with self love until a lovely soul Cristen Coppen (actress and entrepreneur) asked me to write a love letter to myself and I couldn’t! That person also asked me to say “ I am beautiful” and I couldn’t ! When I tried to say the words, “I am beautiful”, I actually burst out into tears, tears that came from the pit of my stomach! And when it was time for me to read a love letter that I wrote to myself during a group exercise at a workshop I attended in LA, I once again burst out into tears! Obviously, I had a little issue with self love! But, it never occurred to me, I had no awareness of this.
AWARENESS IS THE FIRST STEP
After my realization, the first step was to become aware of the way that I spoke to myself in my head. The things that I would say to myself when I made mistakes or when I looked in the mirror. I wrote them down in a journal, and wow! I was very very mean to myself! A few examples of a running dialogue in my head:
“What’s wrong with you” / “I am so bad at…” / ” You look disgusting”
Would I ever speak to any other living being this way? No!! But these a just a few examples of how I was talking to myself.
So many of us are walking around completely unconscious of the fact that we have an extreme lack of self love. This has come from programming by our parents, by society, interpretations of childhood events, the list goes on and on. The first step in in exposing this thing controlling many aspects of our lives is AWARENESS!
ACTION STEPS TOWARD GAINING SELF LOVE
STEP ONE – Write down your thoughts and the way that you talk to yourself. Become aware of how you think about yourself inside and out. Write them down, expose them. Write down all of the flaws you perceive about yourself.
STEP TWO – Learn to acknowledge yourself even for the little things. Give yourself credit for doing things like working out, eating well, organizing your time, making phone calls, or anything that is deemed beneficial to you or society however small. Maker a list of at least five actions. Do this at least twice day in a journal or on your phone NOTES. Then acknowledge yourself some more for acknowledging yourself and taking action!
STEP THREE – Stop looking at magazines with pictures of people who are photoshopped! I have seen the before and after pictures that are in most fashion magazines for men and women and it is shocking! It is all an illusion. Perfection is an illusion as well, so why bother! The advertising industry thrives off of your sense of lack – not pretty enough, not thin enough, not rich enough, not successful enough etc. So, best to avoid them on paper and online.
♥ ♥ ♥
I can honestly say that I now can write the most detailed love letter to myself and believe every word and can ignore that inner critic voice saying “ no your not”. I can look at myself in the mirror and and smile rather than looking with disgust or just avoiding to look at myself at all. Am I completely in love with myself? No. But I have come a very very long way in the past year by gaining awareness and acknowledging myself, and I know that it will be a life long practice.